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Editor’s note: For the Love of Parenting is a local parenting advice column coordinated by Krystal Arnot, director of the Little Learners Center in Eureka. When parents have questions, she’ll share strategies here.

Q: Struggling to find the balance with my in-laws whom we visit often in regards to parenting my child. We see things very differently at times and I want my child to have consistent expectations from us all. As my child is getting older, I want to create an open dialogue with them to ensure we’re working together. What are some suggestions to make this happen?

A: Visiting with in laws can be tough and when you have a child it can be even more complicated.

The first rule is that grandparents need to understand is that what you say goes. No undermining your decision and no sneaking behind your back.

The second rule is you need to present as a united group. If they have a different idea about how to do something, then they should talk with you when the children are not present. Maybe they have a good idea and if so we should be humble enough to tell them so.

The third rule is to remember we are all doing what we do out of love. If they or you make a mistake give them a chance to make it up. Nobody’s perfect and we all have our own ideas on how to do things.

—Roxanne

Have a parenting question? Send it to letters@times-standard.com with “Parenting” in the subject line.

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