John Casali should be made Citizen of the Year for his continuous efforts to keep our river free of garbage. His is a daunting task, considering all the ding-dongs who lurk around the bridges and camps, literally crapping all over the place and leaving their trash. I bow in homage to him.
Garbage is everywhere. What amazes me is that people who have homes, vehicles and the ability to go to the dump also leave their garbage in turnouts and over the banks.
The week before Thanksgiving someone who had just won $16,000 at the Bear River Casino on Nov. 7 dumped bags of his trash at the big turnout just south of Chimney Tree on the Avenue of the Giants. How do we know this? We picked it all up and found the owner’s IRS papers in the bags of the trash, you moron.
Another creep dumped his waste from his illegally parked motor home in the same spot. The health department was called and came out to see the situation, but there were questions about who had jurisdiction to pick up the trash and it was also a holiday weekend. Of course, it all got ripped open and scattered so Friday after Thanksgiving, we decided to work off our turkey and picked it all up. Re-bagged, it took ten big black trash bags and filled up half our dumpster. We left the excrement there... obviously. So, the names and papers that we found were turned over to the sheriff and the health department. We shall see what transpires, if anything.
Fast forward to Monday. Elk Creek Road off the Avenue is the road to my house. I don’t know why the trash along this road only bothers me. But it does. Up and down on either side are cups, fast food bags, cans and bottles. It sits there for months. It accumulates until it’s a white blur of garbage in my peripheral vision.
Over the side down into Bolling Grove are black bags of trash, ripped open and scattered into the watershed of Elk Creek. They are too far down for me to get with my old legs, but I have a plan. Using my Jeep as an anchor, I’m going to rappel down the bank, bag up the garbage, tie it on ropes, then hopefully climb back up and pull it all up to the road. That’s my dream, anyway.
Monday I decided to at least go a little ways up Elk Creek and pick up what I could - six garbage bags in about half a mile. Most of the cans were the red and white Budweiser type. I found a pile of these on the McCann side of Dyerville Loop while walking my dogs, and they’ve been scattered along the road that way, too.
So, I believe that “Bud Boy” lives in my direction. As he drives up and down Elk Creek, he drinks lots of Bud and tosses the cans and the 12-pack cartons out the window. In the short distance I picked up the trash, I counted 62 Bud cans, all the same kind. There were more over the side that I couldn’t get.
On Tuesday I went to Eureka. On my way home, guess what? The Bud cans were back. If anybody up here knows who drinks that sort of beer, please tell them to knock it off and watch out if you see him driving towards you and your children. More than likely he’s plastered.
If during the holidays, you feel like you’ve eaten too much and gained a few pounds, I can prescribe a great exercise for you. Get off your couch, grab some bags and hit your road and pick up trash.
But of course, unless you don’t see the trash, it shouldn’t bother you at all. It will just blow down off the road into the watersheds, wander down the river to the beaches and join all the crap from Japan.
Merry Christmas, Mother Earth.